Pornography, Food Addictions, Comparison ~ A Grace Story

It didn’t feel like a grace story. 

                                     

It felt like a battle; another battle in my area of vulnerability. 

me and Ruthie

Whether pornography, food, comparison, or, or, or—they share a common root. My friend Ruthie Delk says, “No matter what emotional hole you are sitting in you probably got there by believing lies.” Craving Grace, p 108.

The common root … the lies planted deep in our souls by the father of lies. John 8:44.

Comparison, springing from a lie, is a vulnerability for me … still! 

I’m a child of God; you’re a child of God; each with a God-ordained purpose—isn’t that enough to crush those controlling lies? No.

Crushing the lies, freedom over sin will be reality when I meet the Lord face-to-face. 

Now I live in the reality of neediness; the propensity to believe that I’m not good enough will always be with me. And, the Lord’s presence with his words of reassuring truth are with me as well. 

Freedom from sin, victory in the moment, is possible. 

I’m part of a small cohort, a group of friends who are learning what it looks like to trust God with who He created us to be. Last week some were sharing about struggles with pornography and with food. I’m listening and thinking, I see a pattern. The fruit we are experiencing is different; the root is the same. The root - lies. My fruit is often comparison.

Recently I was sitting in on a presentation on spiritual rest. I knew I was walking into my place of vulnerability—but my motive was right. Vulnerabilities and motives are not equal. 

My friend commented, Sue, you courageous woman. Walking into your hard. I will be praying for you. 

Two things were going for me: I was aware; I knew I might struggle. And I came into the light with my friend; she was praying. Good things. But enough?

“Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.” Ephesians 6:11. There are no cracks in God's custom-made armor.

Knowing is not the same as trusting. I knew me. I knew my friend was praying. So now I can confidently go ahead with my plan—not!

My confidence was based on knowing, not trusting. 

God wanted my trust! 

God longed to be my rescuer, to lift me out of those vulnerable places.

Three words remind me of my need—my NEED, not just good suggestions: repent, realize, and request.

·       Repent – Admit I can’t go it alone.

·       Realize – I need friends to go with me.

·       Request – God’s presence as well—trust.

Is it realistic to live my life protecting myself from all that might tempt? No. But I can strive to live in such a way that I trust God and others and allow them to protect me.

God’s grace reminded; trusting trumps.

Two books I'm living in recently.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”                                                                        Proverbs 3: 5 and 6

G.L.A.M. ~ OROUS

“Deep friendship is a calling forth of each other’s chosenness and a mutual affirmation of being precious in God’s eyes.” Henri Nouwen in Life of the Beloved.

Deep friendships AND we also skate on thin ice each year—and there is a danger of crashing through.

When seduced to compare our contribution to the kingdom, there is no end to the measuring and no end to the disappointment. In this setting, comparison can flourish. 

On the surface, it doesn’t make itself known. But comparison simmers just below smiling faces. 

It is easy to think, her ministry is more glamorous than mine; her role is more important than mine; she is reaching more with the gospel of grace than I. I wish I could live overseas … or in Florida. Or, or, or.

Oh the dangers of those thoughts; they lead astray; they depress; they deny the gospel; they are wrong!

I am susceptible. So I start many days reviewing familiar scriptures and asking myself questions like the ones below. I want to kill the comparison gene and mature into who God created me to be.

Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born I consecrated you;”       

Will I trust that God consecrated me before my birth for a specific role in his kingdom?

John 15:5 – “Whoever abides in me … he it is that bears much fruit."                                                          

I bet God sees fruit that we are never aware of! Will I trust that?

II Corinthians 3:18 – “And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory …” NIV                                       

Will I trust that it’s not what I do, but who I am that shows God to my world?

Song of Solomon 7:10 – “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.”

Can I believe God has desires for me?

Saint Augustine wisely teaches, God formed us for Himself. Our hearts are restless until we find our rest in Him.

Just out last fall, I have found this book to be a great encouragement. I highly recommend it. You can purchase it here, 

God created each of us uniquely so his love is shown to the world. I want to abide in truth and walk on his paths for me. How about you? What helps you to not compare? What scriptures feed life to your heart?

"Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, ... striving side by side for the faith of the gospel," Philippians 1:27