Sticky Friends

Panera's was a convenient meeting place late that Saturday afternoon providing the privacy to share honestly.

Janine on a river.

At first, I didn’t recognize her with her hair pulled back, baseball cap in place, and dressed like she just came off the river—which she had.

My friend is also a fishing guide.

I needed her wisdom. And her full day of fly fishing didn’t keep her from our time.

My story poured out; she listened. When my words quieted, she asked. Her perceptive questions caused me to see another way. It was good. 

Floating is an apt descriptor of how I felt as the door of Panera's closed behind us.

Janine-standing on left; me-seated on right.

I arrived tied in a metaphorical knot; I left with the ropes falling off—a free woman once again.

I arrived with a plan. A plan meant to offer significance to my insecure self. But even I knew the plan was faulty and I couldn’t figure how to fix it. 

A sticky friend was the need. 

“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”                      Proverbs 18:24

A bit of re-writing and that scripture describes my friend, A woman of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a girl-friend who sticks closer than a sister. 

Janine and I talking with another.

I could have sought the counsel of many; I chose the wisdom of one—my sticky friend. SF and I trekked this mountain before.

Not sure who is Janine and who is me. 

My sticky friend is a friend I can trust with me. She is not surprised or scared by my crazy thoughts. In the midst of reality, I experience her friendship in stronger ways. She pulls closer to me and walks with me through my faulty thinking. She facilitates untying the knots and celebrates the falling ropes.

As I experience her love and wisdom, I know I have found a Proverbs 18:24 friend. Even in knowing the worst about me, she loves and pulls closer. She doesn’t empathize; she walks me into the Truth. 

Yes, I have many other friends and yes I have other sticky friends—often my husband is the one I go to. Because you are reading these words, I am trusting you with a piece of me. Thank you for listening. 

Have you identified your sticky friends? You are blessed if you have.

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”                                       John 15:13

Trust - Distrust

I memorized these words 40 years ago.

“No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.”

Good seed that took all those years to germinate.

Last week I dreamt about those words. (Is this an illustration of Psalm 1:2?) I woke and wrote, compelled to remember.

Abraham’s story instructs my story.

“No distrust …” Abraham had a choice—to trust or distrust. Circumstances offered a strong case for distrust. Nothing in his life experience led to the trust option. It was crazy!

He chose trust anyway.

Trust in a promise, a hope, a character - trust in God who stood behind the promise.

They were generic promises … God is good; God is omniscient, God is omnipotent. 

They were specific and personal promises … Sarah will conceive; God will provide a lamb. “In hope he believed against hope … he did not weaken in faith …” (Romans 4:18 and 19).

And he grew strong in his faith. Growing is a process. I imagine Abraham was a different man at 100 years old than he was at 98.

Scripture records two keys to his growth: 

·       He gave glory to God.

·       He was fully convinced that God was able.

Abraham knew where the credit belonged and in humility he placed it in there.

His humility shines in the second key as well; He was fully convinced that God was able. He was convinced of God’s ability; He did not presume how God might work.

God is not asking me to have an Abraham-sized faith; He is asking for a Sue-sized faith as I walk through my personal family issues. 

Will I trust? Will I believe the promises of God, the generic ones and the specific ones He has spoken to me? How badly do I want to grow? Will I be humble and give the glory to God in my family situation? Will I believe God is able or when I think about how he should show himself, do I have him in a box?

What about you? What issues in your life might God through Abraham be speaking to?

Will you pray for me? I will pray for you.

“That is why his faith was “counted to him as righteousness.” But the words “it was counted to him” were not written for his sake alone, but for ours also. It will be counted to us “who believe in him who raised from the dead Jesus our Lord,”                                                                                                           Romans 4:22, 23, and 24 (bolding mine)

Pornography, Food Addictions, Comparison ~ A Grace Story

It didn’t feel like a grace story. 

                                     

It felt like a battle; another battle in my area of vulnerability. 

me and Ruthie

Whether pornography, food, comparison, or, or, or—they share a common root. My friend Ruthie Delk says, “No matter what emotional hole you are sitting in you probably got there by believing lies.” Craving Grace, p 108.

The common root … the lies planted deep in our souls by the father of lies. John 8:44.

Comparison, springing from a lie, is a vulnerability for me … still! 

I’m a child of God; you’re a child of God; each with a God-ordained purpose—isn’t that enough to crush those controlling lies? No.

Crushing the lies, freedom over sin will be reality when I meet the Lord face-to-face. 

Now I live in the reality of neediness; the propensity to believe that I’m not good enough will always be with me. And, the Lord’s presence with his words of reassuring truth are with me as well. 

Freedom from sin, victory in the moment, is possible. 

I’m part of a small cohort, a group of friends who are learning what it looks like to trust God with who He created us to be. Last week some were sharing about struggles with pornography and with food. I’m listening and thinking, I see a pattern. The fruit we are experiencing is different; the root is the same. The root - lies. My fruit is often comparison.

Recently I was sitting in on a presentation on spiritual rest. I knew I was walking into my place of vulnerability—but my motive was right. Vulnerabilities and motives are not equal. 

My friend commented, Sue, you courageous woman. Walking into your hard. I will be praying for you. 

Two things were going for me: I was aware; I knew I might struggle. And I came into the light with my friend; she was praying. Good things. But enough?

“Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.” Ephesians 6:11. There are no cracks in God's custom-made armor.

Knowing is not the same as trusting. I knew me. I knew my friend was praying. So now I can confidently go ahead with my plan—not!

My confidence was based on knowing, not trusting. 

God wanted my trust! 

God longed to be my rescuer, to lift me out of those vulnerable places.

Three words remind me of my need—my NEED, not just good suggestions: repent, realize, and request.

·       Repent – Admit I can’t go it alone.

·       Realize – I need friends to go with me.

·       Request – God’s presence as well—trust.

Is it realistic to live my life protecting myself from all that might tempt? No. But I can strive to live in such a way that I trust God and others and allow them to protect me.

God’s grace reminded; trusting trumps.

Two books I'm living in recently.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”                                                                        Proverbs 3: 5 and 6