I wasn’t sure I wanted to link up with Kara this week.
“Dream big, pray big, and anticipate grace this summer.”
That was the assignment.
This summer could look different than our dreams and
anticipations.
But that pray big
phrase admonishes. And am I really
anticipating grace this summer? Or am I living in a place of I don’t think it will look like we hoped or
planned.
Henri Nouwen writes in
Compassion, “We do not have to go after crosses, but we have to take up the
crosses that have been ours all along.”
And therein is the other reason I wasn’t sure I wanted to
link up this week. Our family is not battling cancer. My cross seems puny. Does
anyone really want to hear?
And then God whispers,
“When they measure
themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not
wise.” II Corinthians 10:12b NIV
Our cross rests with my husband’s back surgery last
Valentine’s Day. He is not healing like we thought. Pain is a daily reality.
Walking is slow; bending is very slow; roads with bumps (all of them) are
almost intolerable.
And we are campers.
 |
| Cabin in Progress |
Also we are building a small cabin in the mountains, The Sanctuary. Yes, We. Are. Building it.
Our Amish friends put up the shell for us. From the outside it looks finished.
On the inside not so. We’ve experienced much fun working together. Bill became
an electrician; I’ve learned to use a power saw. That was last summer. Our
do-list for this summer loomed big. But we looked forward to the next challenges.
Our summer dreams included making significant progress on
our Sanctuary AND taking our pop-up camper on vacation.
Will those things happen?
The dreams are there. The anticipation of grace was not.
Conviction! And where has my prayer life been?
This week, Holy Week, the week leading to Easter reminds of
the HARD of Jesus’ reality as He walked toward the cross. Jesus embraced the
grace. He walked toward the last supper with his friends; he walked into the betrayal
of Judas and the denial of Peter; he walked toward the trial that convicted
him; he walked to the cross; all the time embracing the grace of resurrection.
As I walk toward summer, where are my eyes? Where is my
heart? Where is my focus? Is it on the disappointment that I think will
characterize the summer? Or is it on the God of grace who knows how to redeem even
when I can’t see it?
The details of the summer are foggy. God’s presence is
reality. I’m turning my focus to God. I want to embrace the grace.
“… My grace is
sufficient for you …” II
Corinthians 12:9
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