Wednesday, October 12, 2011

My Perfect Identity Storm

First the long term forecast; then the next several days; finally, the current weather. It amazes me how accurate these forecasts are; especially when big storms approach. Sometimes all the ingredients are there to create the perfect storm – a frightening reality.

A forecast predicting weather storms parallels the storms of my life – although I don’t often see the pattern in the making quite so clearly – the pattern is there.

I am living in an in-between place; between identities – that is the identity that I voice to others. It is a hard place to be; who am I? I feel severed; I feel alone; I feel unimportant. I retain my badge; I keep my email address; it all seems hollow.

The long term forecast is over three years old; I know it is coming; I live like it is not. As the storm approaches and the signs concur, God moves in with gentle reminders. I hear,
Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
Jonah 2:8

I memorized that Scripture years ago. Why? I don’t remember; maybe for this time. Am I clinging to worthless idols? I wonder; I don’t think so – but then why these feelings?

There are other signs; they confirm the storm. I’m aware and unaware. I am unmasked – at least and hopefully, only to me – probably not.

I remember; I review; my only hope to weather the storm.

·        When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. Isaiah 43:2
·        …for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10
·        God not only loves you very much; He has His hand on you for something special; something happened in you; your life is echoing the master’s words.
      I Thessalonians 1, The Message
·        And others renew my hope.

The storm arrives. Am I listening to God or am I licking my wounds?

“… you make him glad with the joy of your presence.”
Psalm 21:6b

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