Prove It or Trust It

The light went on for me Monday morning as I sat with my friends listening to the speaker.

Scripture says, “… and people loved darkness rather than light because their works were evil.” John 3:19. I might finish the sentence this way …

I loved darkness rather than light because:

• the light embarrassed me.
• the light hurt too much.
• the light touched my shame.
• the light is not trustworthy.
• the darkness was the only thing I knew.

Scripture also says, “… God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all.” I John 1:5. But I was walking in darkness; even though I didn’t know it. Good character qualities were twisted and warped. Not good.

I grew up believing that if I was going to feel significant, I needed a title to put on a business card that declared that significance; or I needed a uniform to wear that shouted to all around that I’m important. It never entered my thinking that the person who God created me to be was significant. That was where my worth was.

So I say to me, earn that title, create that significance. And I did—or I thought I did. I worked hard at climbing whatever ladder was in front of me. And I was successful—successful at climbing ladders, that is. By working hard, by climbing the ladders I got close to the top. My climbing ladder strategy confirmed the vow motivated by the lie that controlled my behavior.

Then came Monday and the light came on. I realized when I work hard to prove my worth, I am not trusting God with the worth He created in me. My worth, my value is God-dependent.

I am an initiator; I am a leader; I have a lot of ideas—all good qualities. But I walk in the darkness when I hijack the goodness of those qualities by climbing ladders instead of trusting God to use those qualities for His glory.

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

John 8:12