Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Frustrated Fixers

I’m a mom; I understand wanting to fix things; I hate when my kids hurt – I just want to fix it – whatever it is. A friend articulates this well, “I just want to fix it and I can’t”.  Frustration multiplies. Moms aren’t alone in this struggle; this issue camouflages itself in a variety of relationships and in a variety of settings.

Recently my frustrated fixer quirk rears its head in a Bible study I do with friends. I so want her to understand – to capture the practical implications of the passage. My questions fail to bring the desired responses; that is, my desired responses.

Later reviewing my underlines from a recent book, the proverbial light bulb comes on; I am convicted.

“Congregation is a company of people who are defined by their creation in the image of God, living souls, whether they know it or not. They are not problems to be fixed, but mysteries to be honored and revered. … they are known not by what is wrong with them, but by who they are, just as they are.”
Eugene Peterson, The Pastor (italics mine)

I remember another book I read several years ago.

“I couldn’t help but imagine what my world would be life if I looked at the human beings I was closest to as holy and treated them with the same sense of respect … I try to look deeper into his heart, at the human being behind the role of husband, father, educator.”
Joan Anderson, A Year By The Sea (italics mine)

My author-friends fine-tune my issue – I see my friends as people with problems that need my fixing. God sees them as holy, as mysteries – friends who need my love and encouragement. Eugene Peterson also said, “I’m learning to be a patient pastor”. Ah-ha!

Three don’ts are helping me:
·        Don’t try to solve their problems.
·        Don’t give possible solutions
·        Don’t share my personal experiences.
God, please remind me of these in the moment. I want to treat my friends as your creations.  Amen

“We are His workmanship …”
Ephesians 2:10

No comments:

Post a Comment