Thursday, October 10, 2013

A Do-er with No Capacity to Do

God created me with the gift of telephone; suddenly the phone weighed 500 pounds.
My first personal phone.

I am a pray-er who needed others to pray for me.

I am a gramma who had no energy to go to the zoo with her visiting GRANDS.

I was in need of help without ability to ask.

I desired time with my Father; the many details resulting from the Black Forest fire usurped it.

I am a retreat facilitator without the gumption to facilitate. Thank you Village Seven Presbyterian Church for understanding. (FYI, my Sabbath-Living retreat is rescheduled for November 8, 2013. If you are in the area, please join us.)
Sabbath-Living Retreat at Glen Eyrie

I am a do-er and had no capacity to do.

That was my reality earlier this summer--a new place for this do-er.

I learned, sometimes, do-ing is not the need.

Summer 2012 was marked by the Waldo Canyon fire. That fire touched me in a different way; several friends watched their homes burn to the ground from the grassy hilltop across town or on live news coverages.

That summer I was the do-er, the pursuer - pursuing those friends with my many ideas of how to love and help as they emerged into their new reality. I didn't get it!

This past summer I was the pursued.

Yes, there were some immediate and BIG needs that called for attention, but last summer as the days turned to weeks, I realized one of the biggest gifts I could offer my friends was the gift of space and prayer.

This past summer I was the one who needed the spa - time and place to be, to reflect, to listen. An intanigible gift in the midst of many tangible needs. The silencing of my do-ing was a good thing.

I am thankful for the many who graciously met our tangible needs.
I am thankful too for those who graciously allowed the gift of space.

   O Lord,
      calm me into a quietness that heals
                                           and listens,
      and mold my longings and passions,
                     my wounds and wonderings
      into a more holy and human shape.

Ted Loder, Guerillas of Grace

"The Lord is my shepherd ... He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.
He leads me in the paths of righteousness."
portions of Psalm 23:1-3

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