Y-2K ~ 12 Years Later

I just figured out why I never liked new year’s resolutions.

            * They always revolved around more things to do.

            * They were successful for about a month.

            * They weren’t personal ~ they imitated others.

            * They highlighted my shortcomings.

            * They caused me to face who I wasn’t. Ugh and double ugh!

Before Y-2K, I defined my life by my hats: the wife hat, the mom hat, the neighbor hat, the Bible study leader hat, the daughter hat—you get the idea. Most of the time I wore one hat at a time—multi-tasking is not a strength. My friends and I spoke of balance—an impossible concept. I exhorted them to think about faithfulness instead—what does it look like to be faithful today? It sounded spiritual and excused me from some of those God-given roles for a bit. It wasn’t the answer.

I didn’t realize what was happening then; but Y-2K was a turning point for me; it reminds me of a hinge on which I turned—a good thing. It was as if God was saying, Sue, all you meditate on is You. And your meditations are fueled by other people and what they are doing.  (You starts with Y.)  I want you to start meditating on me, your King and who I created you to be. (King starts with K.) Y → to → K. (I know, pretty corny. Stuff like that helps me remember.)

The memories flooded back as I journaled in the beginning of this month about new year’s resolutions for 2012. Again I was overwhelmed and discouraged. Although they were personal now, they still revolved around more things to do; more good activities to squeeze into my already full life. I found myself thinking, how can I possibly fit all this on my calendar? And therein was the issue.

Once again I was trying to balance everything; there was no white space; I was losing control.

Then I remembered my primary identity—the beloved child of my heavenly Father. He created me with desires; He loves me; He adopted me; He wants my faithfulness and fruitfulness even more than me; He is the blessed controller. Cha-ching, the pressure fell away. My responsibility: meditate on and live out who God, my King created me to be.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me; Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-filling on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Matthew 11:28, 29, 30, The Message Bible