Thursday, June 16, 2016

Here She is To Save the Day - NOT!

A superhero, I'm not! Thank you to my friend Lisa Anderson for her insightful words the week I stepped on the plane to visit Mom. It was the first of several grace-sightings I experienced while there.

Mom is 96 and lives in her home of 55 years - by herself for the past 19. She is an amazing woman who loves her 2-story home, loves having her daughters visit, loves puttering in the yard, loves her screened-in back porch, loves her freedom.

She doesn't move quite as quickly as she used to on the basketball court. Her hearing aids are a must. She swallows several pills a day. She sold her car.

She has her routine, the newspaper every morning after breakfast including doing the daily Bridge hand often beating the one who posts. She still manages her own finances and investments. Mom cooks for herself several times a week ... although we know she appreciates her breaks from that. She has her favorite TV shows.

I have much to be thankful for.

I also wonder. Is she safe? Is this home - that I love too - still the best place for her?

We disagree. Disagreements produce tension.

And I did NOT want tension on this visit!

I invited several friends to "come" with me, to pray for my time with Mom, and perhaps text a scripture that I can think on during the day. They "came"; it was a good week - not perfect but very encouraging. 

My grace-sightings continued beyond Lisa's words and the support of my friends. 

*The first day there, the Holy Spirit whispered, Sue, you don't have to win. I needed that.
Honor who Mom is and how she feels. We'll never agree on everything.

*My friend Kathy texted, I'm praying you will be a blessing to your Mom. Immediately Philippians 2:4 came to mind. It was a turning point that week.

*I thought about how she understands love. We spent much time just being with each other and chatting. (My knitting project appreciated that.)

*We talked about Psalm 23, her favorite scripture.
I've been pondering it since and the phrase, "I will fear no evil" (verse 4) has been ministering especially as I thought about all the care Mom's house needs and the care Mom could enjoy. My sister Sara who lives in the same town admonished, Sue, you just can't worry about it. She's right.

*I can't compare Mom to Kathy's Mom who still takes regular cruises with her family.
  I can't compare Mom to Carol's Mom who lives in the local Alzheimer's facility.
  I can't compare Mom to Mary's Mom who is the family prayer warrior.
  Kathy's Mom, Carol's Mom, Mary's Mom, and my Mom are God's unique creations even now
  living in their 90s in very different places; the perfect places for each. 

Several weeks previous to our visit, I read Proverbs 30:11, "... and do not bless their mothers." That day I started praying, God, what would it look like to bless Mom today even across the miles? Mom would agree this visit was a blessing.

"and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with faith and love that are in Christ."
I Timothy 1:14










4 comments:

  1. Love your heart in this and it encourages me. Thank you!

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    1. And Rachel, YOU, my friend encourage me. What is your friendship with your Mom like these days?

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  2. My mom and I have a pretty good relationship! Sometimes I feel that the role swap (daughter caring for mother) is more imminent than I would like! This at times makes me less patient with the little things. This was a good reminder to me that I can love my Mom where she is at. Not where I wish she was or not what I think is best. She is still Mom and I am still daughter and I am grateful for her! :)

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    1. You are a wise woman Rachel. You summed the post up well with your sentence about loving where she is, not where you wished she was. Good reminder.

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