One of the
best definitions of comparison I’ve heard comes from Emily Freeman’s latest
book, Simply Tuesday. “The best way
to Sabotage my own success is to be obsessed with someone else’s.” (page 91)
For more
years than I’d like to admit, I’ve suffered with this disease. Your ministry
was always better than mine; you always had more invitations coming your way;
your grasp of the Bible always awed me … and, and, and.
My feelings
of success sabotaged as I looked to you for my plumb line.
A miserable place to live, especially when you really do love Jesus and love
ministry.
Immediately
three problems arise from the above words:
1. I should know by now that
whenever the words always or never appear, the truth is being
stretched.
2. Should success be my desire, or faithfulness?
3. My eyes leading my heart were always in the wrong place.
3. My eyes leading my heart were always in the wrong place.
Another
synonym for comparison is competition. I grew up in a competitive family where
success (that word again) was defined by comparison and winning was rewarded.
In a foot
race, you are either in front of your competition and they are looking at your
back, or you are behind the competition eating the dust from their running
shoes. That perspective defines you in
that moment.
But as
women, more than winning, I believe our hearts crave connection; someone who
will walk with us, someone who gets
us, someone who listens and then says, “me too”. Someone safe enough to be
insecure with. Someone we can walk with.
God is a
relational God, and we are created in His image. God connected with us and
invited us into His family. That’s really my heart’s desire—to invite, to
relate, to connect.
This desire
is stymied when I try too hard to connect. When my heart is to win (success), not to
minister (faithfulness). Some personal clues for me are:
I miss connecting.
When I know just who she needs to talk with,
I'm forfeiting my opportunity to connect.
When I steal a glance at my watch,
my connecting is jeopardized.
When her story triggers a memory and I start down that rabbit trail,
the connection is lost.
When my eyes look over her shoulder, just for a moment,
my desire to connect is questioned.
(Oh
conviction! I think of my lunch with Denise recently—GUILTY—on at least two of
the above. I’m glad that grace is allowing another opportunity.)
In my own
life, I think of many times when I have met Jesus through the ears and eyes and
hugs of my friends.
I’m learning
to treasure the balm of connection instead of breaking from comparison. After
all isn’t this an application of believing I’m created by God for such a time
as this. I’m created in His image for relationship, for connection, for faithfulness.
But I'm not in this alone. "... your adversary the devil prowls around ... seeking someone to devour." (I Peter 5:8)
My adversary has had a hay day prowling around and devouring by planting lies; and I've believed him. SEDUCED!
He seduced; I was sabotaged.
I Peter 5:9 offers the anecdote, "Resist him, firm in your faith,"
Review, review, review. What are the truths God has spoken to me? Review, review, review!
But I'm not in this alone. "... your adversary the devil prowls around ... seeking someone to devour." (I Peter 5:8)
My adversary has had a hay day prowling around and devouring by planting lies; and I've believed him. SEDUCED!
He seduced; I was sabotaged.
I Peter 5:9 offers the anecdote, "Resist him, firm in your faith,"
Review, review, review. What are the truths God has spoken to me? Review, review, review!
"But on some points I have written to you very boldly by way of reminder,"
Romans 15:15
"To write the same things to you if no trouble to me and is safe for you."
Philippians 3:1
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