Our phone call was pre-arranged (1000 miles separate us). In a particular relationship I had hit a wall and needed her expertise. Our 30+ minute phone call was a game-changer. She is amazing.
Kimberely's habit is to start with prayer.
She listens to my current - and my plea for help.
She doesn't have solutions.
She does have questions, insightful questions.
She asks and she waits, silently.
Always - yes - always, God uses her prompts to minister deeply.
She asks again.
Her questions, not solutions create the space for God's grace to flow.
Once again I relax, smile, and breathe deeply.
One of my prayers for myself is that my questions and my silence will create space for God's grace to flow, that I would love well.
Cautiously she shared her story of her daughter-in-law, of the eggshells beneath her feet, and of her great frustration. The situation unresolved. My other friend listened quietly. Something melted in her; she got it; she'd been there. She even identified with the word "farce". Her words, "me too" bonded their friendship.
No solutions were offered; truly there were no solutions to give. There were no spiritual platitudes which would have distanced the friendship. There was only simple identification.
I get it.
I'm there too.
It's awful.
It hurts.
Me too.
It took humility.
It took vulnerability.
It took love.
And it created space for God's grace to flow.
I've heard it said that wordiness might be a symptom of not trusting God to work in the life of another.
Simple questions, or simply identifying don't require many words. And perhaps because of their few-ness, they create space for God's grace to flow.
I've experienced the other side too:
I share my story. And quickly, too quickly a solution or two is proposed. I thank my well-meaning friend and our conversation turns to the weather. Wordiness.
Or, she shares truth with me, God is sovereign. The truth is truly true. I know it and I didn't need the reminder. Did she not think I knew? Wordiness.
Or, she listens to my story and then explains the why of it to me; the obvious. I feel like a little girl, not a companion on the journey. Wordiness.
"Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise;
when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent."
Proverbs 17:28
I'm learning the power of silence, the power of me-too, and the power of questions. My motive is not to be considered wise, my motive is to create space for grace to flow. Would you pray for me?
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable in your sight,
O LORD, my rock and my redeemer."
Psalm 19:14
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