Eighty-five mph winds coming off the mountains—enough speed to
earn a ticket on the interstate.
The talk on the hospital corridors, the roof blew off last
night! My husband Bill lay on the 7th floor recovering from back
surgery 4 floors below that roof over the 11th; he felt the sway. I
witnessed the carnage; the once beautiful park-like setting created to offer
solace filled with junk.
Truth exaggerated. Reality, the ventilating system
flew from the roof. The cover on the hospital remained.
Not an exaggeration, God blew my cover this week.
Behind the Mask, a
quick read exposing the three part process of sin brought the incident to mind
and chiseled away my comfort.
With great clarity, I remembered a coffee date that a friend
invited me to. I was un-expecting of the ulterior motive. Her words surprised;
I hurt. A personal perceived strength bull-dozed. Really?
I believed myself innocent so I managed the situation with
denial, blame, and control. I didn’t plan it, it just happened—an involuntary
response.
My response morphed into self-protection and pride. I fashioned
a shield designed to ward off the hurt. She owns the real problem, not me. I’m
the more mature, the better person. I’ll not bring it up again. I’ll smile and
be friendly when our paths cross. I’ll dig in my heels and hold on to my
rightness. And I’ll avoid the territory she spoke of—territory I previously
flourished in. Control takes many forms.
How could I be so lambasted? I was pre-occupied with me!
As I remember that situation, in God’s amazing tenderness,
he gently reminded me of a few other scenarios.
My cover was blown.
Another friend shared she has compulsive-reactionary
patterns; she is stubbornly resistant to change. She needed to come to the
place where she trusted God to mature her out of the wonderful change he
already created in her years ago.
Like my friend, I have no power to deal with sin, my own sin
or sin done against me. I cannot change on my own. Sin’s involuntary responses
and inevitable effects are strong, very strong.
I must let go of unreal expectations and trust God—the only
stronger one—to mature me.
I love this truth from Isaiah 42:16, “I will lead the blind (those with blind spots) in a way that they do
not know, in paths they have not known I will guide them. I will turn
the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These
are the things I do, and I do not forsake them” (parentheses and
underlines mine).
Father, please
continue to guide me to my blind spots. Thank you that you will not forsake me.
Amen.
The cover on the hospital remains intact. My cover was
shattered. I am thankful for both.
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ
Jesus.” Romans 8:1
PS. If you are interested, here is a link to the high wind
story:
http://www.krdo.com/news/wind-damages-penrose-hospital/-/417220/24501918/-/64mjr1z/-/index.html
I hate to have my cover blown.
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